Colonoscopy: The procedure itself isn't bad; I fell asleep during it. They get you so doped up it's no big deal. The prep is hell! It's like some weird torture where you are force fed this horrible liquid. You have to drink 8oz every 15 minutes. The first hour you're like "I got this; what's the big deal?" Then time starts getting distorted. The doctor's office told me to set timers so you don't miss a glass. I was like "why? It's ever 15 min... how hard could it be?" It's because you aren't thinking straight as you get further into it. Hard to explain but listen to them; set timers!
If you have hemorrhoids God help you. If they weren't bothering you when you started this they sure as hell will be by the end. Sadly I didn't find anything that really helped with it; just kept using the cream even though it seemed futile. Don't use cleansing wipes or pads; too harsh at this point.
Flex Sig: Short for flexible sigmoidoscopy; basically a mini colonoscopy. They only go about half as far. A lot less prep. If you've never given yourself an enema... that will be an interesting experience. I wasn't sure if I got enough juice up there to make a difference but the doctor didn't complain so I guess it was enough. I mean at this point I was so sick nothing was really up in there but blood anyway; couldn't keep anything in my colon for more than a few seconds without an enema. Laying down on my side worked best for me; they kinda show you in the instructions.
Oh... they may ask if you want sedation... like it's some sort of option. IT'S A TRAP! Always take the sedation on this one. In fact I would say this would be true for any medical procedure they suggest it for; no time to be a tough guy. I didn't get it and it was one of the most horrible experiences of my life. I was already so sore all around and up in there... then they shove this 'flexible' tube up there and wiggle it around. He didn't get very far before I was uncontrollable. Didn't really HAVE to get far to see I was a flared up wreck though so it wasn't a big loss.
Another thing; this procedure wasn't cheap! After it was all said and done it was about $1,000 out of pocket! Insurance made some adjustments but not much. Be sure you get an estimate on the cost before so you aren't shocked like I was. Plus they want a follow up visit about a week after so throw that on to the total cost.
Sometimes this stuff pisses me off because everyone knew I had UC and this was a flare up. But they kept asking me to do expensive procedures and annoying tests... "just to be sure" it wasn't something else. They also wanted me to get an MRI which makes a flex sig look cheap in comparison "just to be sure" I didn't have crohns.
C-Dif, Parasite, and Other Poop Tests: Ugh... these suck. Apparently you have to do them "just to be sure" and I've had to do them several times now. If you've had kids and dirty diapers you are somewhat prepared; you wont puke during these =) However it's still totally nasty because likely it's all full of blood and mucus.
I found it helped to do these in a bathroom with a tub near by plus you get the fan. You can put your "hat" ( the thing you poo into =) into the tub. Set all your little bottles there in the tub and work there with out worrying about spilling and ruining anything. Pull your shirt up over your nose as a poor-mans respirator or if you need to put on a dust mask or something; it really does help.
It's also kinda like a brain puzzle.... here's some itty bitty spoons and a flat wooden stick. Use these to get enough slimy, slippery, ishy stuff into these little bottles. I'll let you figure it out; I don't want to take ALL the fun out of it!
You will be asked to do these tests all through your struggle with this disease. Especially C-Dif... you can pick it up anywhere, all the symptoms are the same, and it's deadly. Anytime you flare up or meds stop working. They try to figure out why. One way is to do all these tests again ... 'just to be sure'.
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